Oh Captain my captain!

“Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.”

That was Bud Fox when beckoned in to meet Gekko for the first time.

This was one of those moments for Capt Jim.

A seasons effort, all the travel stress, all the complaints to Scotrail, all the practise, all the broken bats, the sleepless nights mulling over partnerships and stress of shattering ego’s with his team selections.

This. Is. It.

Beat David Lloyd Renfrew 5-4 at least and promotion from Division 6 is secured. Division 6 where we have been stuck for a couple of years. Division 6 which hangs over us all like the sword of Damocles.

This. Is. It.

Harrison waits patiently 100 miles away as Stevie speeds ( 70 mph in the 70mph limit areas, 30mph in the 30mph limit areas ) up to get him for the final push. Driving him back after the game would be sweet with a victory in the bag. It would be cataclysmic if we come up short. But the commitment is there from couple 1. Beyond the call of duty. Hours in the car for the cause.

Couple 1 ready.

This. Is. It

Couple 2 the same. Gazza dressed head to toe in Lycra causing himself to drop a set due to dehydration on Tuesday just to ensure the clegs couldn’t get him and weaken his chance on Thursday night.
Max fought hard against his own vanity to wear a baggy t shirt ( skin tight to the rest of us but baggy to Max) to allow extra movement to leave no stone unturned in the quest for promotion.

This. Is. It

Couple 2 are ready.

Willie made peace with playing down in Happy Valley at third couple. Turned up early to ensure the other 5 players didn’t have to worry about any mundane tasks. They could be all business. Focus on the task at hand. Getting 5 sets in the bag. Willie had set the table and sparked up the urn.

This. Is. It

Half of couple 3 ready.

Jim was ready. Captain of the team. The man who had organised the whole season. Stood his ground at the fixtures meeting. Made the tough calls when needed.
Willing to go out on his shield if required.

Aye he was ready.

Ready to play bowls in Clydebank.

At least Devon Loch turned up to the race. At least Eddie the Eagle actually gave it a whirl.

A pre meditated no show.

Our collective flabber was ghasted.

How would the troops react?

We resisted doing a team huddle as we worried word would filter back of this to Happy Gould who wouldn’t be impressed….

Lucky we could call in the Racketeer Allan Clarke who was showing huge commitment by playing 2 nights in a row in the crazy heat and overspending on his Capri Sun budget for the week.

Clarkey & Willie at 3rd would be too much for anyone in this Division. Surely?

Court 1 slipped 0-3 down. Worried glances were exchanged. Couple 2 were in control.
Crowds were gathering round Happy Valley.

It was tense. Not sure if it was tense at the bowls match but it was tense here.

Luckily Harrison remembered he has played tennis before and reeled off 6 games in a row to take the first set. The second two sets followed.

Max and Gaz were on cruise control. A couple of interesting exchanged words couldn’t alter the path of the game though and they ran away with the three sets.

Willie & Clarkey brought the heat on Court 3. The poor opponent tapped out after losing the first two sets easily.

That. Was. It.

I’ll leave the final words to Jim from Walt Whitman who I know is a particular favourite of his……

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won

See you in Division 5.

Well unless you’ve got bowls on that night…….

There have been some great matches this week. G2 and G3 both managed strong victories but this has been overshadowed by three questions I will pose later on and await answers from the members.

The courts were looking good also…..

On Tuesday night the Gents 2nds required a strong victory to set up a potential promotion opportunity. The visitors were Springwells who are in a decent mid table position. The good news was young Harrison was returning and keen to showcase his skills aboard the showcourt with his Auld Da. This left Max & Gaz at 2 and Capt Jim & Willie at 3rd. We had high hopes of a strong performance.

We were right. Team Carmichael managed a 3 set victory in a decent encounter, Max & Gaz dug out a 2-1 victory and down in Happy Valley Jim & Willie overcame stout resistance to chalk up 3 set win. An 8-1 victory was way better than Capt Jim could hope for. Roll on Thursday and the final game when another strong victory is the order of the day.

Wednesday night saw the Gents 3rd team in a local derby with Craighelen. Could Wizzo’s warriors get one up on the local rivals?

Yes they could.

In a break from tradition the Lobsters played at 1 down in Happy Valley  and in an epic encounter they just lost out 2 sets to 1 to a strong Craighelen couple. Wizzo and the Spinmeister Gordon Kydd efficiently dispatched their guys ( including Arthur who was spying for us by playing for Craighelen) leaving the stage to the Young Team of Callum & El Frazo.

They lost the first set, took the second on a tie break but then stamped their authority on the match to take the 3rd set 6-3. The boys thrive on an audience and showed it again tonight. Well done guys.

A great 6-3 victory in a derby match.

Now. Here’s our quiz questions.

Quiz Question 1

 

Who is missing the HUGE promotion match on Thursday?

 

Quiz Question 2

Who played in this get up due to midges which existed only in his head on Tuesday night?

Quiz Question 3

Who turned up to the match tonight with this snazzy footwear?

Answers on postcard. The winner will be picked at random and shall win a prize. Maybe.

 

So talk reached the reporter of an outrageous piece of pre match relaxation last week.

Big Centre Court and his troops were going on a road trip. Strathaven away. That’s 40 miles and over an hour away – traffic permitting.

Better leave in plenty of time. 5.15 was the decision.
Before everyone starts feeling sympathy for the Gents 4 team. That’s 5:15 in the afternoon / evening. Not 5.15am

Where’s Big Fraz? Nowhere to be seen.
No problem thinks Big Centre, he’ll be strolling down to the tennis club. I’ll intercept him on the way as he comes out the Co-Op with a Milky Bar or a Mint Aero*

*other beautiful chocolate bars are available

No sign.

Called him. Text him. Facebooked him. Snap chatted him. Hit him up on Insta.
Even tried his Bebo & MySpace.

Nothing.

That’s ok thinks Big Centre. I’ll call Cath and find out his house number and doorstep him.

Nothing. Ghost town

So it’s time to leave. The Butterfly effect has started. Callum is standing at Lower Cardross ( Dumbarton to you and I but Lower Cardross in estate agent speak if you are selling) in the pouring rain waiting picked up.
David L is waiting at the golfie to be picked up.

Time is not our friend. Big Fraz who has a bucket full of A’s must simply have forgotten. These things happen. We’ll deal with him later.
Called his Mum. She confirms he’s fine but we don’t know where he is.

There’s only one more call to make. Aunt Karen. She’ll sort him out.
Nope. Even she is powerless to track him down.

Big Centre can’t get another player. There’s no time. He calls round the houses, lets the Strathaven captain know that Cardross will be rolling 4 deep, David L gets stood down as there’s no partner for him. He goes back to the house to continue cutting his grass – its a 14 day job- with a moist eyed look.

Big Centre picks up Callum who has no idea where Fraz is. He can’t be studying as he’s finished exams. A true mystery.

It’s now 5.45 and the brave warriors face the drive knowing they are 3-0 down.

Then it happens. The phone goes.

It’s Big Fraz.

He’s slept in.

Let that sink in. 5.45pm and Big Snoozy has slept in.
Now if this was one of the Bunnet Brothers then we could perhaps shrug it off but no it’s a 18 year old lad at the peak of his physical powers getting himself a wee
Siesta.

El Frazo our Spanish superstar getting himself a wee pre Match snooze.

Big Centre pulls in Dalreoch. Turns the car like Lewis Hamilton and picks up El Frazo before then driving like an expectant father heading to the maternity ward.

6.59 they arrive at Strathaven with David L saved from walking his own version of the grassy green mile for another evening.

El Frazo & Callum obviously won all their sets. Big Centre obviously didn’t as he was shot from weaving through the traffic setting a new PB for the Cardross to Strathaven dash.

So what happened to El Frazo?

I just slept in.

Now I can accept that excuse from a taxi driver due to get me at 4.30am but at 5.15 in the evening?

Did you have a late night Fraz?

No

You feeling ok?

Yes

You just a big snoozy?

Yes I am.

Hello. I’m Fraser and I’m a snoozeaholic.

No harm done except to Big Centres nerves and the MPG figure in his car.

Youngsters these days eh…….

Feel free to pelt him with Pro Plus tablets and Red Bull any time you see him…….

The sheer weight of match reports have bogged me down. I’m going to have to give a very quick run through of the highlights I’m aware of and then post the league positions and my summary of the situation……..

This summary could of course be absolute nonsense as very little research has been undertaken…..

Ladies 1

Normal service has resumed with the jewel in the Cardross crown continuing to win matches and promotion is looking likely into the incredibly heady heights of Division 2. Division 2 is fabled ground where players have two rackets the same, know stuff about string tension and probably don’t chug down Prosecco by the bottle post match.

I say if it ain’t broke don’t fix it girls. Prosecco it is……

I only received one picture and it was of Lorns & KT after an epic game where they won every set but needed 7 games in each one to prevail. 7-6 7-5 7-5

Ladies 2

Last time I wrote an update the Ladies had just got out of the blocks and now they have finished their season already. Jill, Ronald et al sit atop their league with the other teams doing a ‘run chase’ to see if they can catch them.

As far as I can see they are secured promotion and await to see if Kirkhill can scoop 15 sets from their last two games to overhaul our warrior princesses.

Time will tell.

The weather has been great and I did receive one photo of Jill and at home match.

Ladies 3

This looks like a very commendable mid / top half table finish. Still a few games to go and it does look as if there’s a few teams with a few more sets to come from their games in hand but I think our Ladies can be proud of this years play no matter how the cards fall.

And of course they have set the standards for the match tea to which we all aspire…..

Gents 1

This has been a tough season. Great games to watch but not any easy matches at this level. Looks likely our brave soldiers will be moonwalking back down to Div 4 this year but who knows that might re-energise the troops to bounce straight back up.

The one tragic tale which in typical style we have to raise a smile at is that after battling hard and taking Silver Medals all year our very own Keith was in pole position, one set up and 3-2 up when unfortunately he was dealt a savage blow and did his own version of ‘Devon Loch’.

When life gives you lemons guys………

Gents 2

Bawgate Jim’s trusty crew are battling on. After inflicting the first ever defeat on Kelvingrove, which went down fairly well after the guys initial shock, a couple of strong victories and promotion is a distinct possibility.

Willie is back from his overseas training camp, Harrison has finished his exams and the boys are ready for the run in.

We welcome the chase……

Gents 3

This has been a tough season as well. It looks like a relegation decider against local club Craighelen at the end of June could hold the key.

As always there’s been some great games and great entertainment all played in good spirit.

Well until Andrew pulled up lame, hobbled off court to inform Capt Wizzo he thinks he might be ok for the next game. Too late says Wiz. You’ve been replaced already. All before the sweat had dried on the bunnet.

The King is dead. Long live the King.

Gents 4

There’s a couple of stand out teams in this league who are barely dropping a set. A bit like Scottish football where we all battle to be the best of the rest our boys are currently in 3rd spot and doing well.

And before anyone else asks. Yes that tan of Graham’s is real. He’s retired man he’s just been out in the sun the whole time………honest